Deep through my life

I Was looking at some old poems... I found this one and it´s very interesting how much I´ve changed in the last years... its quite amusing to read it... then we can talk about the what I think about life nowadays! The picture was taken in the small village where I worked as a family doctor in a very poor area of Brazil, it´s called Juá...


I'm trying to understand myself...
but I think I lost it somewhere
on my way to the hall
of pride and vanity

I'm pushing hard for my memories
to see when I've turned the wrong side
and I only see a dark shadow
which was always there besides me...

and I wonder what I've done wrong
what can I do to regain any value to my soul
what doubts do I have to pay
to be free and happy again...

I'm feeling bad, I'm feeling a fake
there's so many who'd die to be
where I made to be now
while I'm renouncing all of this
for a moment of peace,
for the chance of sharing
the gratitude of the poorest person in the world

J.Ferrer

sin mucha inspiración

Colores, luz
Sol, calor
Gente, mucha gente
De diferentes colores, pero tan iguales
Sencillos y complicados a la vez
Aqui se encuentran, en esta misma calle
Vienen de muchos rincones del mundo
Todos quieren su espacio al sol
O buscan más que eso?
Estamos perdidos o venimos hasta donde queríamos?

J.Ferrer

----------------------------------------------------

Picture from the fountain in my favourite square in Barcelona, the Plaça Felip Neri, in a very beautiful summer day!

Les chemins...

Les chemins ne s´ouvrent pas devant nos yeux
Si on reste endormi...
Avec chaque tournant que l´on prendre
Il amène des nouveautés, des surprises... des mystères

Si on se laisse prendre par la vie
Il n´y a qu´à affronter ses craintes
Trouver le moyen d´être bien avec nous
Quand on se sent étranger a soi-même
Quand sa peau ressemble à une cage

On peut encore décider du chemin
Avancer sans s´arreter puisque tout s´en va
Aussi long qu´on espère
Un jour tout arriverà, comme par hasard...

J.Ferrer - Barcelona, 14/10/05

====================================

Picture taken last Saturday at the Montseny... nice day of nature and peace!

IT´S SUSHI DAY!!!

Finally I can say I know how to prepare good japanese food, sushi and makis... Last week I´ve done it for some friends at home and that´s the result... it looked good and tasted great, and the best thing, nobody was sick!!! hehehehehe Well, I hope to repeat it soon!

"Thinking in the rain"

A rainy day at home... not doing much... maybe wasting precious time... should read something, something nice and important... maybe should study a bit... stop looking at the web and start looking inside for a while, conecting with myself... instead of "googling" for nonsense could be searching for a good sense of life... just vaguely felt by some unknown part of me...
J.Ferrer, Barcelona, 14/10/05

----------------------------------------

Picture from my window today!

Caquinhos de mim

Otoño

Hojas naranjas, rojas, amarillas...
creando un tapete colorido
mojado, como mis ojos
pisado, como mi corazón

Sigo caminando...
No paro para observar la nieve
cayéndose y tranquilizando este suelo de fuego
congelando mis lágrimas, anestesiando mi dolor

De que me vale caminar si donde vaya seguiré solo?
Para que molestarme en cambiar toda mi vida
Si lo que me hace falta no encontraré?

Resta algo de esperanza para mantenerme de pie
para al menos poder seguir respirando
aún que no sienta el aire que entra en mis pulmones

No me entero de lo que hablan
es como si todo el sonido se perdiera
ecoa en el vacio que llevo dentro
y no encuentra nada para hacer vibrar
ni siquiera una hoja para derrubar
ya estan todas caidas,
cubiertas de nieve,
congeladas.

J.Ferrer 10/12/04 - Barcelona

=================================

This pic is not mine...

Cent choses a faire

Cent choses a faire
Et Je ne peux m'arreter
De penser a toi
A tous les moments
Que nous avons passé ensemble
Et qui m'ont rendu si heureux

Que faire de ces heures
qui n'arretent pas?
Que faire de tous ces mirages
qui me laissent perdu?

Je suis entre deux chemins
Completement differents
Et tres difficile a departager...

Je voudrais savoir
Plus que le présent
Plus que l'horizon
Que Je vois d'ici...

Qu'est-ce que on peut faire pour deviner
Qu'est-ce que tu penses lá ou tu es?

J.Ferrer - Oviedo 3/12/2003 - 15:20

===========================

Picture taken in Paris - Spring 2004

Thinking hard a hard thought

So many strangers around me
How crowdy can a lonely world be?
People pass by each-others
They even exchange some words
But do they ever get in touch with their real selves?

So many strangers living together
Sharing everyday's routine
They even know each-others' peculiarities
But do they ever see their real feelings?
Or do they just consider what is minimaly needed for a senseless life?

So many stranges loving each-others,
Or do they just change organic fluids?
Are they trying to reach their souls
Or just getting some relief?

Will those strangers ever stop their automatic lives,
And realize for a moment that we're not here
Just to spend some years in a meaningless life
We need to develope and understand that
We need to know our own selves, and for that
We need to show it to the others,
Who are we lying to but ourselves?
Do we know what we are truly feeling or
We're so lost in such a strange land created
By us, so atached to the concepts and patterns
We've created, that we ended up slaves of
This fake life...

Will we ever stop trying
Being perfect and start just being us?
Can we be free and happy?

J.Ferrer - Oviedo´s Library 21/12/2003 13:00

=================================

That´s a very expressive picture from this great actress in this very strong movie...

Recife, linda ainda...

This pictures is the best I´ve found of Recife, it´s not mine, but I think it was taken to show everyone this beautiful view of a very nice city, thought very dangerous to live in... I would love to be living there if I could be safe to go around biking or walking around... Untill then, I can only visit it as a tourist from time to time...

A new begining...

This is a new begining of my blog, I don´t know what´s wrong but I can´t add anything to the first one, so this is the second trial... Hope it will work!
-------------------------------
This is maybe my favourite photo from all I´ve taken... When I look at it I feel like I´m there again, feeling the warm breeze, the salt smell of the ocean, the sound of the treas moving... the mixture of colours on it is fantastic and it´s completely natural (of course I´ve taken 3 of the same to get the best one).
It gives me peace, makes me think that life is timeless and our existence in this world so ephemeral...